100% Completely Authorized Weblog

'Torture, Motherfucker. What? What?' 1—3

'It's Not Your Fault'

(Or, Hey @Safeways? Thanks For Not Having Any Blue Paint In Stock -- It's Not Like I Needed It Or Anything.. WHEN I'M PAINTING THE SEA AND THE FUCKING SKY, YOU FUCKS!)

I'm working on a new character who LOVES coffee

Current Status

TalkToThe(Luke)Hand.app

Introducing ... Talk to The Hand for iPhone. An agony aunt app with a magical and revolutionary twist!

In the meanwhile before launch, mailto: talktothelukehand@gmail.com with your angst.

Twit-For-Twat

A nice tit-for-tat with our old friend Ricky Nixon on twitter tonight.

So, he was butt naked before the shorts were edited in? Weird. Whether the video was photoshopped or not, "his" (alledged) kecks look similar enough to mine (below) that I'm reminded of the whole sorrid affair everytime I take a waz while I'm wearing them. Still - makes a good story...

Make A Wish

Dear reader,

If you're a terminally ill child - and if you're lucky enough to be granted a wish by the Make-A-Wish foundation - what I reckon you should do is wish for The Strokes to record a cover version of Britney Spears' How I Roll. Go on. I'll give you a lolly!

Imagine this jam...

...performed with this kind of instrumentation/steeze!

To Do

Found. Richmond, 12/01/2012. #bargain

Coldplay @ Celebrating Steve

Coldplay's performance at Apple's Celebrating Steve event. October 19, 2011. Cupertino, California. Split into separate mp3 tracks for each song. All Chris's excellent between song banter is at the beginning on each track. I don't know how to put the whole lot somewhere as a .zip file for you to download so you'll have to deal with these boxy players for each track and follow each download link. Watch the whole thing here.